BAYANology

It had to happen sooner or later. The Cynic’s Dictionary, my personal favorite of all my published and unpublished works, finally succumbed to a combination of old age and mass indifference. It was twelve years old. I bought the final four unsold copies from the current publisher on July 18, 2007, and that was that.

Twelve isn’t a bad lifespan for a humor book, especially in today’s bottom-line publishing climate. The Cynic’s Dictionary actually earned back its advance, and then some. The book had numerous fans who wrote to me and championed its cause, but it never cracked the media radar or the mysterious word-of-mouth machine that unaccountably propels books like Marley and Me to superstardom. 

I suppose The Cynic’s Dictionary wasn’t the sort of book that’s predestined for superstardom. It’s a relentlessly negative book, after all, even if it’s also a recklessly funny one. Most American readers prefer chicken soup and other forms of spiritual uplift. But I relished the opportunity to tell the truth with a bitter twist of lime, and I haven’t had my fill. You can bet I’ll continue to peddle my dark brand of humor, even while the success of my Words That Sell tells me that the money lies elsewhere.

One of the glories of the Internet is its ability to preserve the outpourings of renegade minds who failed to open the trick latch that leads to commercial success. Most of those minds are more interesting and engaging than the ones we reward with bestsellerdom. It pleases me to think that some of my “disgruntled definitions” might still be circulating around the Web after I’ve turned to plant food. The Cynic’s Dictionary is dead, but as a true believer I hope it stumbles upon a blissful afterlife.